The Power of Written Love: A Mother's Legacy Through Letters
#20 || A Different Take on Valentine's Day
Growing up in Madison, Wisconsin, where pop flowed freely and conflict was swept under Midwestern rugs, I learned early that sometimes the most powerful words are the ones we write down. This lesson came from my mother, the original architect of what I now call "love writing" - a practice that would shape our relationship and my approach to communication for decades to come.
The Kitchen Counter Chronicles
Our kitchen counter became our first mailbox, a sacred space where mother-daughter dialogue flourished through handwritten notes. When spoken words felt inadequate, or emotions ran too high, we'd leave each other messages - simple at first, then evolving into deeper exchanges. Each note invariably ended with her signature "XOXOs," a written embrace that carried me through countless days.
From Counter to Campus
When I left for college, our note-writing ritual adapted to actual mailboxes. During one particularly challenging freshman year moment - complete with a Medieval History B, relationship troubles, and career uncertainty - I found myself stretched across my pink bedspread, phone cord extended to its limit, seeking Mom's wisdom. Her response came in stereo: a card marked in her distinctive red marker and a separate letter, each carrying pieces of home and gentle guidance.
The Note Campaign
Mom's commitment to written communication showed up in unexpected ways. At age 10, I launched a two-month written campaign for pierced ears, leaving nightly notes on my parents' pillow detailing my readiness for this responsibility. This early lesson in persistent communication paid off—I got those earrings four years earlier than my sister had!
The Archive of Love
Years later, while cleaning out my childhood home, I discovered Mom had kept every note, letter, and scrap of written communication we'd shared. From my wobbly scrawl at age 4 to teenage declarations, she'd preserved our paper trail of love. Each piece told a story: Christmas thank-you notes, travel memories, and countless "just because" messages that mapped our relationship's evolution.
A Final Whisper
Mom passed from COVID-19 on December 12, 2020, after years of battling dementia. In our last moments together, though separated by distance, we managed to exchange those three vital words through my sister's phone: "I love you." Her whispered response became her final message to me, a fitting close to our lifetime of written and spoken love.
Legacy in Ink
Today, when friends receive my notes—complete with Sharpie writing and strategic sticker placement—they receive more than just my words. They receive an echo of Mom's legacy, a continuation of her belief that sometimes the most important things need to be written down, saved, and cherished.
The Power of Written Connection
In our digital age, where texts and emails dominate, there's something profound about the tangible nature of handwritten notes. They carry weight beyond their words, creating physical touchstones of connection that endure long after the moment passes. Mom understood this instinctively, teaching me that love isn't just spoken or felt - sometimes, it needs to be written down, marked with XOXOs, and saved for the days when we need it most.
