Getting Better at AI Without It
#35 || How stepping away from the tools made me better at using them
Most of us remember the first time we left our phone at home. That low-grade panic setting in every time we wanted to text someone, but couldn’t. The coffee we couldn’t buy because we didn’t have cash or a credit card. The photo we couldn’t take with our friend, wondering if this was even happening if we didn’t post it.
And then, the shift. The freedom we felt being in a conversation uninterrupted by slacks, texts, or calendar notifications. The joy that comes from single-tasking and being present. That’s how I felt this past Tuesday morning when I sat down to work on a new AI workshop I am building with a colleague (more on that soon), and decided not to work with AI to do it.
Getting better at AI isn’t just about learning the tools. It’s about strengthening what you bring to them.
Most of you know by now that I’m far from an AI skeptic. I’ve been a consistent AI user since these tools came into our lives, and have been learning and using them more over the last six months. I use AI to outline major projects, build simple apps, edit my writing, and I recently redesigned my entire end-of-week workflow with it. AI is part of my life now, the same way my phone is. That’s what made this moment feel like something. It also taught me something I wasn’t expecting about what it actually takes to get better with AI.
Writing on a Blank Page Again
My colleague and I had been working through the workshop content together in Claude. We had a general outline, but we were still circling around the core of what we wanted to say. We kept getting stuck, ending with the same next action: “let’s work on this more and do another zoom call in a few days.” So instead of feeding AI more examples and prompting it with more questions, I went back to the blank page. Just a cursor blinking, daring me to write something meaningful.
I wrote for an hour and I noticed that I was thinking slower, and more like a designer than a marketer. Instead of writing about the workshop, I found myself writing to the people we think need it most. It became less of a pitch and more of a letter. Less marketing, more me. I shared it with my colleague before I ran it past Claude for feedback. That ordering felt important: share my thinking first, then bring back the tools to refine, delete, and edit. We both felt great about how the content represented us, not the AI-version of us. We’d been stuck for two weeks. That one hour of working without AI broke it open.
This experience took me back to writing my book, before AI existed in this way. I remember those mornings, three hours at a time, working from “prompts” my editor gave me. These were the “OG prompts”, created with comments in the margins of a manuscript and could be found in between the bloodbath of red-colored font edits. The writing was hard most days. I’d stare at that cursor worried that what I was about to write had already been said, or that my story wasn’t clear enough, or that I shouldn’t share it at all. But over time, more writing sessions became enjoyable, even joyful, than drudgery. The joy came from knowing that the story was mine, written in my style, even with those edits.
Several friends who are writing books have told me they wish they’d written theirs before these AI tools existed. It can be hard to keep finding your voice in the noise of AI. I’m grateful I wrote mine when I did, because that process built something in me that I now bring to all of my writing and every AI interaction.
(Also, I could use those em dashes freely—I used to use them a lot before they became signals of inauthentic writing.)
I know what my own thinking sounds like. I know when an idea is mine. I didn't blindly accept every edit my editor made, and I don't blindly accept what AI suggests either. That took time and a lot of bad drafts.
Here’s what I’ve come to believe: getting better at AI isn’t just about learning the tools. It’s about strengthening what you bring to them.
Free Weights Vs. Machines
Think of it like the difference between free weights and machines at the gym. Machines let you isolate a muscle and move more weight than you probably could on your own. You get the reps in, and you build strength. But free weights force you to engage your entire body. As my friend Alisa, a bodybuilder (among many other expressions in her life), says, when you’re doing a shoulder exercise, you’re also engaging your core muscles, even your legs, so you don’t get injured.
AI is the machine. Your own thinking is the free weight. You need both. If you only ever use the machine, you don’t develop the form: the judgment, the instinct, the understanding of what’s right for your voice and your style. Machines help you lift more. Free weights help you lift better.
Writing with Claude
I’ve started treating AI the way I eventually learned to treat my phone. I write full drafts before I bring AI in. I’ve trained it to ask me questions before responding, so I’m forced to clarify my “so what?” before going further. When I do work with Claude, we’ve agreed on a format: making sure the opening and the core argument are clear before we start refining. I create the outline, then we build together. Just like I trained myself not to put my phone on the table during a meal. Just like I turned off notifications and started taking a digital shabbat on Saturdays.
I didn’t stop using my phone. I just got intentional about when and how I use it. I’m learning to do the same with AI. I’m not using it less, but I’m bringing more of myself to it when I do.
One Thing to Try
If you want to test this for yourself, try one thing this week: before your next AI-assisted project, spend 30 minutes writing what you actually want to say before you open the tool. Don’t outline. Don’t bullet point. Write to the person you’re trying to reach, like a letter. Then bring AI in. What did you notice?
P.S.
My new website is up! Please check it out. It will continue to evolve, because I’m a perfectionist, but the core offerings are there for individuals, teams, and organizations. I will also be sharing more about a Collaborative AI offering that my colleague, Rebecca, and I have created soon. We are looking for some great teams for a pilot.
I have been having a lot of fun buying more local, shopping less online with big brand names. Buying my books at local bookstores as well as Parnassus Books in Nashville, and ordering products directly from their site. I am really proud of my nephew, Seth, who created his own hot sauce business. If you are a hot sauce lover and want to support a hard-working entrepreneur, please buy some sauce from his site, Wahlton Saus and tell him I sent you. Thanks for your support.